Journal keeping

Hello, Companion Mustard Seed Library book readers,

A question on yesterday's blogg entry, was "Can you think of other ways in which society's secular view of the world effects people's spiritual growth and the ways they choose to live?" For me, one of the main ways in which our American culture impacts on all of us is the encouragement of discontent and restlessness, a wandering, sort of always moving around to the next great experience, the next great fulfillment, the next solution to our common problems. That atmosphere I feel really also impacts on our families and on our churches and on our communities. My question really is what kinds of tools can counter this rootlessness so evident in our society's secular view of the world, where it seems like sometimes, no one is expected to ever feel at home.?

At the end of each of these chapters in this book, the author presents his sample prayer. They are kind of long and maybe folks aren't reading but I myself have studied it and find it sort of remarkable. I'm capitalizing some phrases in it which impacted upon me because they sort of tie society and the individual together and the author is praying for truth:

"Lord Jesus, I come before You thankful that You have created me unique and beautiful in Your eyes. I thank You that You can see the "real me," even though I cannot always do so, even though I try to hide behind masks of social acceptability, conventionality, and an imitation of real Christian love. Jesus, I know that it is the real me whom You love, for that person You created. I, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE CREATED AND ALLOWED OTHERS TO CREATE A FALSE SELF WHOM I HAVE ALLOWED TO PREVAIL WHILE MY TRUE SELF HAS BEEN SUBMERGED.

"Jesus, I need Your help. I need You to show me my true self. I need to see what You see in me. I need to feel Your Love if I am to grow spiritually, and it is only my true self that can feel Your Love.

"Jesus, show me Your will in the matter of my keeping a journal. Help me to be open to the possibilities of this tool in my life. Stir Your Spirit within me to help me understand with my heart, not only my mind, what a journal will do for me and for my relationship with You. I want You more than anything, Jesus, and if that means that I need to keep a journal, I am willing to do that.

"If a journal will help me to find my true self, Lord, I will need to be honest in it. That kind of honesty is a grace that only You can give, and I ask for it now. I want to be able to see myself with the Love with which You see me. To do that I need Your honesty--to see my strengths and weaknesses, to see my life, to take responsibility for being who I am, so that in Your Truth I can become free. IF I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE CONTEXT OF YOUR LOVE, JESUS, I KNOW I CANNOT FEEL DEPRESSED OR CONCEITED, INADEQUATE OR POWERFUL, BUT I WILL REST IN THE SECURITY OF YOUR CARING, SO DEEP AND RICH. AND IN THAT SECURITY, I WILL FIND MY TRUE SELF.

"I also need to know what my reactions to life are. SO OFTEN I RESPOND WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. Stir Your Spirit within me to uncover these reactions, especially the ones I find unacceptable or fearsome. I need to face them sometime, and I want You to be with me when I do. Help me become aware of the many ways they reveal themselves in my thoughts, intuitions, moods, dreams and relationships. Help me to learn how to write them, and I ask for the grace to persist in my writing even when it seems that all these reactions are blocked and not one of them will come through. Help me then to believe that You are still with me and guiding this journey of spiritual growth to my true self and to Your Father.

"Lord, last of all, I pray for a thirst--a thirst to know who I really am, a thirst that will not be satisfied by anything but that discovery. I ask You to make me uncomfortable until I set out on this journey, and I ask for a vision of my goal to spur me on. I ask You to love me in this way, so that I will find my true self and thus know what it means to be a child of God. Lord, I know that for everything valuable in life I must pay a price. I am willing to pay it no matter what it may be, if it means that I will find You. For I love You, Jesus, and I know that you are the only real joy in life.

"Thank You, Jesus, for hearing my prayer and for teaching my heart what my mind cannot understand. I WILL FOLLOW YOU ON THIS JOURNEY INWARD. LEAD ME, LORD, LEAD ME. AMEN.

Actually this is just an interesting prayer. If the choice is between being discontented or rootless or homeless out there in society or being discontented or rootless or homeless in the church, I would far rather be with the author here, accompanying him on his inward journey and he on mine, each becoming more and more our true selves and loving Jesus. He's about convinced me to do some of the stuff he is advising.

God bless,
Sharon